Cosplazy Blog

When not talking business, Kelly and I sometimes go off in our own little world about Ren & Stimpy and how much we loved that cartoon as kiddies. Thanks to lax parental control at the time, we got away with watching a cartoon that, seriously, isn’t exactly even fit for adults.

It put it’s mark on pop culture here and there, but I really never thought someone would really do…this…but thanks to 4chan.org, I get little surprises such as the one below:

That’s…just not cool. I really have to wonder what makes a person come to the decision to wear this of all things. I’m not saying I hate Powdered Toast Man or anything; hell, he’s saved the Pope AND the President all in one episode; However, it would be hard for me to believe this was at the top of this guy’s list.

“Sephiroth? Too overdone. Same with the guy-dressed-up-as-Sailor Moon thing. Ho hum. OH I KNOW WHAT TO DRESS UP AS!”

His costume is most likely part of, say, a “Conan the Barbarian” outfit that came with Fake Muscles(TM), and his sister/mother made the toast head themselves out of some extra insulation out in the garage. I have to give this guy a C for effort, but a round of applause for even attempting this.

Although, if this is what came upon me when I was in dire need of help, I think the last thing I would do is cling tenaciously to his buttocks (yes, both of them) for support. It’s all padding anyways. Plus, he’d have to hold out that piece of toast first before I could realize who he was.

  I was browsing the EGL thread on cosplay.com last night when I came across this gem..or Jim… whatever. I thought this should be brought to everyone’s attention.

Sometimes men like to dress as women, or women like to dress as men, or drunk guys lose bets. I was really hoping this was one of those drunk unlucky guys, but upon reading his detailed costume description I realized no, it isn’t so.

I really can’t decide how serious this is. His facial expression is either “come hither” or “I’m on drugs!” and the position of his hand (is he reaching for his groin or trying to cover it up??) doesn’t help. Is he trying to look innocent? Sir, you are an enigma!

I must admit, the costume itself would actually be alright if it were worn by someone who isn’t 6′2 with the face of a vampiric Bruce Campbell. At least he had sense enough to wear opaque black tights to cover up his man fur. His boobs are just a little askew though…

I don’t know… I’m a little turned on by this mysterious man-girl. Oh, nevermind. That’s just my stomach churning.

Oh please may I?

I am not gonna lie; back in the day I DID like some DBZ.  It was because I was in love with Vegeta, Zorbon, and I liked Bulma.  Even though I do not watch the show anymore I have always been a fan of Bulma… that is, until now.

Now I know, Bulma didn’t have an outfit that was too hard to put together, but this hot mess… I am embarassed FOR her. First off, I don’t remember Bulma ever getting too much sun. I think if she went on vacation she would be sure not to burn herself like this fine young lady here.

And where is the blue-green hair? This unenthusiastic Bulma fan looks as though she forgot to brush her hair altogether. I am sad to say the expression on her face is probably one of knowing… knowing she couldn’t pull this off very well and knowing she was gonna end up on Cosplazy. Can you see it too? I know I can.  Look deep into her eyes, don’t you SEE it?

This display repulses me to my innermost core and I officially can say that this is the end of my Bulma fandom. Right here, right now. Yep, you all get to experience one of Cosplazy’s first upsets so horrendous it demolishes all taste for Bulma period.

*Gags* *Stumbles* *Throws up on the picture* *Cries* *Throws away all Bulma fandom*

*dies*

I will be back … soon, you will see… I may have died right here and now, but someday I will be revived to tell the tale of an even more horrific cosplay.

*Officially dies*

(Credit for pic goes to: http://astriaweb.free.fr/ )

Oh man. One of the best game series in the whole wide world has to be The Legend of Zelda series. (If you in any way disagree, please, go shoot yourself. Now.) The storylines, the gameplay, all that good stuff is just AWESOME. Rumor has it that when my mom would be up giving me my 2am feedings when I was a baby, she couldn’t go back to sleep, so she’d go hog my brother’s Nintendo and play the original Legend of Zelda. Even SHE knows how awesome the Legend of Zelda is.

I somehow felt violated, however, when I found this picture on 4chan. Somewhere in Germany, there’s these two:

Basing their costumes off of “The Ocarina of Time” (dude, I need to play that again), I must say their costumes aren’t all THAT bad; in fact, they’re not bad at all, even the girl’s looks like good quality…it’s just…seriously?

This is a simple case of the right costumes on the wrong people. Keep in mind, peeps, not all cosplayers are models or anything, but there is a line between “Yes, I can pull this off” to “I’m definitely in denial”.

The guy, holding his paper mache Hylian shield and Master Sword (I assume, since he is an adult and all…what self-respecting adult would carry around a Kokiri sword? *scoff*) looks nothing short of demonic, when that’s more Ganon’s job. Also, his (greasy) hair is all wrong. Tsk. Everyone knows that Link has honey blonde bangs falling out of his little hat, and they are ALWAYS bouncy. I really do want to shampoo this guy’s hair.

The girl…do I even have to say it? I really don’t mean to bash her looks or anything, but in the game, Princess Zelda resembled more of a lithe, willowly type, and not my old friend, Beth, who had a thyroid problem and always dressed in a manner not becoming of someone her size. That being said, the detail on her costume, like I’ve said, is pretty good. However, when of a bigger size, your eye doesn’t immediately go to how good the costume is; the human mind is more inclined to think, “That costume does NOT belong on her.” (or, more specifically, it doesn’t exactly flatter her figure).

Although, there is a problem here that I have to bring up, and it has nothing to do with cosplayers…but how many “curvier” characters are out there to cosplay? Not much (that I know of at least; remember, I’m the outcast non-anime/non-otaku dork of this site). So, we’re stuck with something like this, where the follow-through is great, yet the result isn’t exactly spectacular. Let this all be a lesson to all you out there; take a good look at yourself in the mirror before you leave the house. You KNOW if you look good or not. Everyone has that one little inkling of feeling where they know what they look like. If there is high doubt whether you think you look questionable…chances are, you should probably go change.

Hi there.

As I’m sure you’re aware, there’s been plenty of media attention focused on weight and obesity issues in the world. Hell, I used to be a chunky monkey myself (key words: “used to be”, so I know how tough it is to be a fat girl in a skinny girls’ world. It’s hard; you can’t wear the fashions you want, clothes just aren’t tailored in the right way, and you enviously (and maybe, to some extent, salaciously) eye every size 0 that walks by and think, “That. Bitch. Wish I was her.”

And then there are those out there who are proud to be fat. That’s right, I said it. FAT. It’s an F word fat girls love to hear. They’re fat, beautiful, sexy and DAMN PROUD OF IT.

I applaud a lot of those women. They sure are brave, and I never could be one of them.

However, I recoil in horror whenever it’s taken way too over the top.

…especially when it’s taken way over the control top underwear this girl should be wearing underneath her costume.

Holy spandex, Batman. I’m not an anime and/or otaku dork, but I do know my Final Fantasy characters and dear Lord, this is the saddest excuse for a Garnet costume I think I ever could have imagined. (I’m guessing it is Garnet, I could be mistaken) And, as I’m sure most people who are reading and looking at this know, this isn’t even the whole costume; the sleeves and pantlegs are missing.

Now, I’m sure she could have fueled India’s textile industry for another year with those additions, but nah. So a few thousand workers didn’t get paid. Kids starved to death over the money that wasn’t made in making this costume. But whatever; to each his own.

Instead, she took the $20 that was in her wallet (which of course, has a moogle bedazzled on it), and went to Kmart to buy an orange bathing suit that was mistakingly marked for her size (when really, it was supposed to be marked “Medium”. It wasn’t until 31 days later (1 day after the usual return policy expired) that she noticed, “Oh, dammit, I can’t return this NOW…”

…”Might as well make the best of it, I guess. HEY MA, WHERE’S MY BRA??? And my Bedazzler(TM)? I got work to do!”

What bothers me the most isn’t that she’s too big for the costume in question, or that she’s almost violating the laws of morality by exposing most of her bra, but that it really, REALLY, does NOT leave anything to the imagination. (Yes, I’m serious — Whoever coined the phrase “camel toe” never prophesized this).

The game, after all, is called Final Fantasy…if I died 5 minutes after writing this, I will be forever pissed that this is the last thing I saw.

This isn’t MY final fantasy! UH-UH, NO WAY.

(Credit once again goes to CatsOnMars.com.)

Just to let you lovely readers know, we here at Cosplazy are just as guilty of costume failure as you are.  Well…. I am anyway, and I’m not afraid to admit it. In fact, I think it’s really pretty funny. So, for your viewing pleasure:

Okay. This is me. It was my second costume AND second con ever.  I made it a week before the con. I was fourteen years old, and I thought it would be really cute to dress up as Keroberos the Guardian Beast from Cardcaptors Sakura.

Too bad it sucked.

Lets start with the control top pantyhose that are 100% visible underneath the hilighter yellow tights. Was this an attempt to look sexy? Were the lights dim when I put them on, or did I just decide it was okay? If I felt I needed two pairs of tights to hide my cottage cheese thighs, I should have invested in some “sheer-to-waist” tights. N00b.

Let’s move to the boots that were once black but painted white, then apparently colored in with a hilighter.  High-five!  You’re the winner of the “worst use of office supplies EVER” award. Good job wasting two whole bottles of white-out and a brand new hilighter to color those guh-nasty boots.

Now, on to the “leotard.”  The point of an “invisible zipper” is that you can sew it in so the garment looks zipperless.  You’ve clearly missed the point entirely. Also, there is a world of material you could have used other than symphony broadcloth.  It may not all be $1.99/yd like broadcloth, but it would have saved you from the feedsack effect*.

AND THE FACE. Why did you feel it necessary to paint on a kero-chan smile? You look like a douche.

The only good thing about this costume is that the wings can double as pillows. Don’t sleep too hard though, the sharpie spirals might come off on your face.

*Feedsack effect is a term used when a garment appears baggy and flat, as if a person were wearing a feedsack.